Spins

Is there anything worse than getting the spins after a night of drinking? Now I understand that there are one or two of you out there who have never truly experienced what the spins are all about. So being a good Samaritan, I will describe the "spins" experience so when you get them for the first time, it can be properly identified and you will be more equipped to handle it.

It is important first to understand where the spins come from. When you drink multiple adult beverages which contain "alcohol" in them, you might be having fun and more often than not, lose count of how many drinks you have. Somewhere between the shot of Jaeger and your 15th drink which was probably a beer, your body internally starts saying, "Enjoy yourself now cause your ass is mine when this is over..."

Around 8:15am, you'll wake up confused. You remember your name, where you are, and that you were definitely drinking last night, but why did you wake up?. Before you have a chance to close your eyes, the room starts moving around, hence when the "spins" begin. It slightly concerns you but you figure that if you just close your eyes and go back to sleep, this will all go away. So you close your eyes but the spins get worse and you immediately are forced to open them. Panic now starts to seep in. The most logic solution to this problem is a glass of water so you sit up in bed. As we all know, once you sit up the spins intensify immensely. It is at this point, you realize that water is out of the question and you put your head back on the pillow to think this through.

This is what is called the crucial decision point. You pretty much have two options:
1. You take the walk of shame to the bathroom and just let loose, get this all over with
2. You try to fight it like a man (or woman) and attempt to tough out the storm

Let me assure you that Option 2, while looking like the best answer is probably the worst choice. I've seen spins victims suffer for hours at a time. You know that if you choose Option 1, at least you get it over with right away, hopefully with little mess, and you can go back to sleep. Quite often, Option 2 is not even an option and before you start thinking about it you're hanging over the toilet. Either way, I hope that all of you rookies out there take some notes and are prepared to handle this situation if it ever presents itself. Good luck and I hope easy hangovers to all.