The Late Night Eats

At a work event last night, I drank multiple adult beverages and after four hours of continuous binge drinking, I became what some might call "disgustingly drunk." I'm all for maximizing my free-drink intake and I made sure not to disappoint my fans so I drank myself stupid.

When it was time to leave, everyone was saying their good-byes, claiming that they're going home to get some sleep. But we all know inside that no one here is really going home. We're just saying our good-byes and stalling so each individual can determine one thing...what they can get to eat right now. The late night eating after a night of drinking is the most fun and dangerous part of the night. You feel like you owe it to yourself to each the most greasy, fattening thing you can find. It's also a race against the clock because you need to hunt down some food, order/cook it, and eat it before you completely pass out.

My thought process begins with thinking about what I have to eat at home. Currently, I have a freezer full of food from last March, nothing in the fridge, and no snacks. Pathetic I know, but it is the true warriors who can overcome this lack of food and find something open late at night who are America's real heros. Some may give up at this point and just go pass out but not me. I'm determined to eat something.

The key is being able to justify it in your mind. I haven't eaten in 3 hours, I don't want to wake up hung-over, my foot hurts, it's cold out, I like dogs...whatever it takes to make it seem that in your mind, eating is the only way to ease your pains. What did I eat last night? I stumbled into my 24 hour McDonald's and attacked the dollar menu. Sure, it's not on the Gary diet but that's not important. The important thing is that this morning for breakfast, I'm not that hungry and feel sick. Best move I ever did.