Leave Breakfast Alone

Breakfast is by far, without a doubt my favorite meal of the day. There are very few breakfast foods that I do not enjoy: Eggs, omelets, Pancakes, Waffles, Biscuits, Bacon, Hash Browns, Ham, Sausage...Everything is delicious to me. One of my favorite things to do as a kid was go to those all-you-can-eat breakfast buffets with my family so I can just pig out and eat a little bit of everything. I've eaten breakfast food for lunch and dinner on many occasions and look forward to any opportunity to kick off the day with a nice large breakfast.

It's amazing how one simple word can ruin all of this joy and excitement for me. I first noticed it in a hotel a long time ago, they offered free breakfast in the morning. When I awoke that morning all set for some eggs and bacon, I was severely disappointed to see only bread. But I put it in the back of my mind until I saw it again at a seminar. I'm all excited for a nice hot breakfast and what is sitting there? Some muffins, not worthy of being called breakfast at all. This horrific word is "Continental" and I will hate it forever. Standing alone, I'm not really sure what it means, but once you put it in front of the word breakfast ("Continental Breakfast" for all you short-bus kids out there) it ruins my favorite part of the day. You go from delicious omelets and pancakes to croissants, rolls, toast, english muffins, and butter. That is not a breakfast, it's crap.

The most similar combination of words I can think of ,which I also am very against, would be non-alcoholic beer. Now I love beer for many reasons, it picks you up when you're down, tastes good, listens to your problems, likes to hang out, and knows how to be a good friend. I even don't mind the word non-alcoholic, I like sodas and juice, non-alcoholic friends can come in handy sometimes, that's all I got on that word. But once those words are combined, you have a worthless beverage that serves zero purpose. I quickly remember "beer doesn't taste good, it's terrible, what was I thinking." I've seen grown men cry after drinking some O'Douls, it's a very sad site. All their hopes and dreams crushed after one simple sip.

Now I've never cried eating a Continental breakfast, although I'll admit that I've been on the verge of tears. The word Continental has destroyed my love for breakfast and has killed a small part of Gary in the process. Since I was 14 and first discovered Continental Breakfasts, I don't sleep much anymore, get headaches all the time, prefer dark rooms to sunlight, and rarely laugh. But my time is done, there's no hope left for me. Go out and enjoy life, find some real hot breakfasts and try to forget that Continental Breakfasts even exist. You must all fight and move on, I believe in all of you.

I'm sure this will have a major impact on all your lives. Leave breakfast alone and lets ban the word Continental.