Presidents' Day
Hey Jimmy, do you love Presidents' Day?
Of course he does. He's doing his Presidents' Day dance!
That's right, today is Presidents' Day. It's an interesting Holiday because there's no real way to celebrate it. Fourth of July, we know to blow things up. Valentine's Day, we send flowers and chocolate. Thanksgiving, we eat until we are completely spent. For New Year's Eve, we do the same as Thanksgiving except replace the "eat" with "drink" and replace "spent" with "throwing up." But how to you appropriately celebrate Presidents' Day?
Well, I don't think anyone really has a clue. If you go by television commercials, it seems that if you're not buying a car on Presidents' Day, you're a complete idiot. As a Manhattan resident, I don't need a car nor can I afford one, but after watching commercial after commercial telling me how much I can save buying a new Ford truck, I'm strongly considering it.
From what I've learned after doing some internet research, Presidents' Day is the celebration of the birthday of President Washington and President Lincoln. Now I don't know how they used to celebrate birthdays back in the 1700s and 1800s, but I do have a good idea how our current President may celebrate. Lets try to enjoy the former Presidents' b-days like it's their birthday in 2005. Send out the evites, line up the shots, and wish the Presidents' Happy Birthday in the way we know best...by drinking ourselves stupid. Now if you're going to celebrate properly you'll do the shots they deserve by drinking their age, somewhere around 500 or so shots if you drink for both Presidents. Sure, you make drink yourself dead, but at least you're being truly patriotic and celebrating the birthday of the Presidents like you would your own.
So whether your sleeping-in, working, skiing, or drinking, have a Happy Presidents' Day and find some time today to thank our troops.
posted by GMan at
8:30 AM
8 Comments:
No, no, no, no. You have it all wrong. GW and old Abe didn't go drinking on their birthdays. They went shootin'. So, grab whatever firearm you have handy and head out back to your shootin' car and have yourself some good ole american fun. Yeah.
By
SJH, at 9:36 AM
Heather, I like that logic. SJH, you're scaring me. I agree that we should make up our mind as a country. Lets do it all or nothing, everyone gets off or no one does.
By
GMan, at 9:37 AM
That kid's jiggling is both hypnotic and nauseating...
I wonder if Washington and Lincoln are pissed that their birthdays are combined into one holiday now?
I can imagine George thinking, "Mofo, I'm the father of this @#$%!&*# country, and I don't get my own day? I have to share it with Gasbag Abe?"
Incidentally, I think we'd all get drunk to make it through one of Abe's celebratory speeches. What I'm saying is the man was long-winded.
Wasn't this done to prevent schoolkids and Federal workers from getting two days off? Now they just get one. And retailers have a reason to throw a sale.
By
Ian C., at 9:51 AM
Re: Let's get fat.
I feel violated. Fat injections. (Shiver violently). Ugh.
By
SJH, at 12:20 PM
Dayna - You might be in the minority on the fat injections. Although, I must say that it is a fantasy of mine to eat whatever I want without feeling any guilt. Ice Cream all the time, all-you-can-eat Chinese buffets, chocolate, it would be amazing. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass and let Jimmy eat my fair share. Sorry Jimbo.
By
GMan, at 12:58 PM
But let's not forget the bumper sticker I saw the other day - "Fat people are harder to kidnap." Seems like there are some benefits to being chubby.
By
Vicki, at 1:13 PM
I heard Chinese buffets are googd for you. Something about the preservatives warding off aging.
If you ate enough twinkies, would you intake so many preseravtives that you'd never age?
By
John S., at 6:28 PM
Vicki - That is a great bumper sticker. However, I have a feeling that it is one of the few advantages.
Anyone else feel that this has been an extremely uneventful Presidents' Day? Although I wasn't anticipating much more than just working today so I guess it's lived up to its hype.
By
GMan, at 7:55 PM
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