Major Breakthrough

There are very few inventions that you can honestly anticipate changing your life. I presume that the day the refrigerator was introduced, that probably turned a lot of heads. Jet airliners which could transport passengers had to have been another one of those, “the world will never be the same” inventions. The creation of the computer and internet transformed business and communication forever. Yesterday, I officially called and ordered another invention which may change my life forever. Am I nervous for the future and what is in store for me? Of course, but I’m ready to embrace this invention and live a better life. I’m tired of living in the past; it’s time to move on.

At 8:45pm, I officially ordered a Digital Video Recorder from Time Warner Cable for my television. Basically, that’s a fancy name for an imitation of Tivo that you just pay a few extra dollars a month for and you can record any show you want. I’ve been talking about ordering it for a long time and now that I’ve done it, I feel like I can take on the world. It was a rough adventure, they put me on hold for about 15 minutes but I fought through the urge to quit. I knew that if I just held myself together for a little longer, a representative would come on the line and make it all better. So I persevered and made it through the holding phase, ordered the DVR service and scheduled an appointment for Saturday between the hours of 12 and 4. I’ll get into that window of service shortly.

Many of you out there who know me might be asking yourself, “Gary…why would you ever get the DVR if you don’t really watch TV?” That’s a valid question, one I have been thinking about since I ordered the service. It is true, the only show I actually watch on television is the show 24 and recently reruns of Family Guy. But that doesn’t mean I can’t turn over a new leaf and become a real couch potato. At the very least, I can finally attempt to prove my theory that the show Golden Girls can be found on some channel 24 hours a day. Who would ever want to miss out on those quick antics of Sophia, the 60 year old slutty thing going on with Blanche, Rose and her Homer-esk replies…and Dorothy, she’s just kind of boring, but as a whole, what a show, what a group of ladies. And I’m sure I’ll catch on to watch some new programs out there that I’ve been hearing so much about. I can’t name them right now, but they’re out there.

The installment window does bother and confuse me. I asked if sometime Saturday morning the representative who will change my cable box between the hours of 12 and 4 could call and give me a heads’ up on when he will arive. They did not appear to like that idea, probably because that would make my life easier. Who doesn’t want to just sit at home waiting for some stranger during a 4 hour window? I swear that if this person comes around 4, I expect more than just a changing of my cable box. For that amount of waiting, I require the cable box changed, a 3 course meal prepared, maybe a song and dance number as well. I should just pull a Kramer and leave a note on my apartment door saying, “Sorry, you must have just missed me. But I’ll be back between the hours of 3 and 6 so I’ll see you soon.”

So if you talk to me or see me after Saturday, expect a new Gary walking around. I might not increase the amount of time I put in or programs I watch on television, but at least I could if I wanted to. And that makes all the difference.